What do you do with your Sunday evenings? If it's not spying on your friend's first date with a stranger whilst wearing large sunglasses and a hat with cat ears, you're not living.
We allowed the hopeful Love Birds an hour to acclimatise, to warm up and get past the awkward nervous tensions. In we stalked; Anett clad in all black including large sunglasses channelling her inner Jennifer Garner circa Alias, and I, my best detective mac and conspicuous cat-eared cap.
Exhibit A: spy attire |
We sloped to a table within range, close enough to take detailed notes - taken down detective style - but far enough away not to be too obvious when taking photographs.
Exhibit B: remaining inconspicuous |
- The Subject and The Date are laughing. A good sign. Subject clocks us, we nod and take our positions.
- The Date is wearing flip-flops and shorts (Lotti is aghast). Would suggest he's a little too laid back to function.
- The Subject is wearing her seriously tight jeans and sheer blouse. Seductive, but not great when consuming large quantities of liquid. Regular Wee Trips a strong possibility.
- The Subject is leaning in across the table. The Date may be leaning away but his outstretched feet resting inches from The Subject's betrays his lust.
- Another One Bites The Dust plays. Foretelling the future?
- The Subject displays a coquettish head tilt and splendid eyelash fluttering, our menu fell down in the breeze.
- The Date responds positively. Leans in.
- Body language is being mirrored. Golly, get your coats this is going well.
- Things get even sexier, Muse plays [ed. note: Lotti says Muse makes her clothes melt]
- The plot thickens. We're interrupted by 2 slightly inebriated chaps. We're offered beverages, politely decline but they sit down anyway.
- We tell them the plan, after some minor judgement they agree to join in. (Hereafter they shall be referred to as Drunks 1 & 2)
Exhibit C: Drunks 1 and 2 - Phase 2 begins. Kicks up a gear. We're heading in.
- Drunks 1 & 2 head over to the table adjacent to The Subject and The Date's
- Drunk 1 drops a menu, collects, drops it, collects it.
- Drunk 2 "Is this a date then?" A conversation ensues. The Subject looks nervously at us.
- PANIC! WE'RE BUSTED! ABORT MISSION!
- Drunks 1 and 2 make a swift exit. Lotti retrieves her stolen hat.
Exhibit D: drunks undercover
- The Subject heads to the Ladies. Lotti gives chase.
- Quick chat, all is well, he is "a lovely guy" Cover not blown. We stagger our exit so as not to arouse the suspicion of The Date.
- Full focus is returned to The Subject and The Date.
- The Date leans back and preforms a stretch. Cue involuntary stare at his crotch. Reasonably impressive.
- [Ed. note: The Subject is a fairly active date. Arm gestures, facial expressions. She really gives her all]
- The Date heads to the Gent's. The Subject heads to the bar. Anett swoops for an interview. (See video, exhibit E)
Exhibit E: mid-date interview with Subject
- Cue Lotti's frantic arm waving. The Date returns
- As they order another round we decide to close our books and take our leave. After all, it is a Sunday.
- The verdict? Too soon to tell.
Spying on a Tinder Date List Trumps!
Cost: 2/5 (You have to buy your own drinks, and depending on the contents of your wardrobe, adequate disguises)
Originality: 4/5 (Most people we spoke to found it odd and borderline "creepy")
Fun factor: 3/5 (It's great analysing a friend's date. Perhaps more fun not on a school night when more alcohol can be consumed. Or perhaps on a more active date)
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